And the Worst Picture goes to...

Who would've honestly thought that "Hurt Locker" had the slingshot to bring down the blockbuster giant and Oscar-favorite "Avatar"? I, for one, didn't. And after watching the controversial film, I still don't get the point. It's a good movie, but "good" movies do not necessarily win Oscars.

One thing's for sure though: what we won't see receiving an Oscar Best Picture anytime soon--or perhaps, EVER--are "video game" movies. Care to argue? Here's a list:

Super Mario Bros.
Street Fighter
Mortal Kombat
Fatal Fury
BloodRayne
Silent Hill
Dead or Alive
Doom
Max Payne

It's a small sample, but what you see are definitely some of the worst movies made in recent times (BloodRayne in particular still gives me night chills). You can argue that the likes of Hitman, Resident Evil (they have Mila Jovovich to thank for) and Tomb Raider were "ok" (and I use the term"ok" very loosely), but there are just some movies that you watch only when nothing else is on...and they're not even that! If only they were as entertaining on the big screen as they were on our playstations or PC's.

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Speaking of Hitman, I've always felt that Timothy Olyphant was such a miscast for the leading role. You can have him pimping pornstars at "Girl Next Door", or wooing grieving girls in "Catch and Release" for all I care...just not as some fearsome assassin. Even before I realized a movie was being made, I've already penciled this guy in as the perfect actor for the role of Agent 47:

(Jason Statham's Ima-Bitchslap-That-Timothy-Olyphant-Guy look)

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Now as if we need any more horrible movie adaptations, here is another popular video game which, from the looks of the trailer alone, is going to be botched big time in the big screen yet again:



We can only hope that Prince of Persia, set to come out this year, would at least be half-decent.

But with Jake Gyllenhaal at helm, I guess we'll never know.

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Lastly, another popular video game and personal favorite rumored to be on its way to the big screen is God of War. Djimon Honsou (Blood Diamond, Gladiator) is rumored to take the role of Kratos, the Spartan warrior out to take revenge on Ares, the Greek God of War, for the murder of his family. Some sites think Vin Diesel or even former wrestling star Goldberg is better suited for the role, and I have to agree, since Kratos is definitely not a black man in the video game. Or better yet, IGN hit the nail in the head wih the Dominic Purcell comparison, and I cannot agree more:

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I was going to close out by saying that I could only wish that hollywood would make a movie out of the baddest ass video game ever, Metal Gear...until I bumped into this site.


And just like that, my wish was granted--that is, until they put some lousy guy like Dennis Quaid in the leading role.

Nurse-cissistic much?

There are many questions in life that has baffled even the wisest and greatest minds in history, like "Why is Kris Aquino the most annoying person on earth?", "Am I gay?", "How much does Peter North make in a month?", "No really...am I GAY?!" or the perplexing "Why can't I fucking change the freaking WALLPAPER in Windows 7 Starter Edition?" (seriously, you really can't, which is an epic fail on Microsoft's part).

But then there's one question in particular that has really bothered me for quiet some time now, and it concerns the ad of a certain local nursing review center.

(One word: Why?)

Lo and behold, the Carl E. Balita Review Center.

Call me crazy, but if half your ad has your face plastered all over it instead of the service you're trying to promote then there's something terribly wrong with you or your ad agency (or perhaps both). I mean c'mon, what exactly are you trying to sell here, a review center or a skin care treatment?

(Look at me, I'm a mowdell--and I have a cleft chin too!)

They could've shown pictures of their facility, their students who passed the board, or hell, even statistics of their passing rate in the biggest and boldest of fonts possible. Instead, they opted to show, not one, but two utterly unnecessary pictures of the same guy who already has the center named after him. If that's not "nurse-cissism" then I don't know what is.

Hopefully, they'll pull this off soon and make an ad that will do their review center justice. After all, if what they're after is increase in enrollment, they can always do promos like free limited edition Carl Balita autographed 8x10 pictures, or "Meet and Greet Carl Balita Day"; I'm sure they'll figure something out.

Of politics and ads (part 2)

As if he needed any more bad rap, Senator Manny Villar is once again on the crosshairs, thanks to fellow senator and presidentiable Dick Gordon, who accused Villar of bribing him a cabinet post and reimbursement of his campaign expenses in exchange of backing out from the race as well as withdrawing his support from Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile (Inquirer article here).

With that said, why is majority of the "mudslinging" happening these days directed towards Villar? Could someone really be so unanimously hated by his peers that even a presidentiable with decimaled ratings would still bother to hurl "dirt" at him?

The answer, I found out, lies in one of Villar's earlier ads. (hint: 0:29)



Apparently, he likes to wipe them on his shirt.